Desperation
by idioticonion
Summary: As Robin continues without a job, she gets more and more depressed and she develops damaging behavior that she doesn't even bother to hide from her friends. When Barney tries to help her, Ted steps in to rescue them both. AU from 4.13.
1. Chapter 1

**1. Ted**

Barney will do anything for Robin. _Anything_. He loves her so desperately that he wouldn't even think twice. Ted knows this and the intensity of it scares him. It's killing him to watch Robin spiral downwards, dragging Barney behind in her wake.

Ted guesses most of what has happened and he knows some of it for certain. He knows exactly when it started, for instance, and sometimes he asks himself what would have happened if he and Robin had continued sleeping together. Would that have been enough to stop Robin from stepping over the edge? But then he realises that there's probably nothing he could have done.

It all started when Robin sat down across the booth from him and Barney, a bruise darkening her cheek. Lily was the first to ask about it, offering friendly sympathy. Ted paid attention with a kind-of neutral concern whereas Barney was the one who showed genuine worry.

"It was just some guy…" Robin had explained, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to let some jerk rough her up a little during sex. Later, over by the bar, Ted had overheard Barney and Robin's heated conversation as Barney pulled at the neck of her sweater, cursing as he revealed an ugly, red bite mark.

"Damn it, Robin." Barney had said. "If you're looking for something like that, why didn't you come to _me_? You need to be _safe_…"

Ted had been horrified and deeply disturbed. Unlike the rest of them, Barney hadn't judged her. Barney hadn't buried her with recrimination. And Robin hadn't turned away from him.

In the following days, there had been no more (visible) bruises.

But their body language has changed. Barney had become very gentle, very purposeful around her. And the closer they get, the more the tension seems to roll from Robin's body in waves, infecting all of them until even Marshall becomes snappy and irritable.

Ted knows Barney, better than any of them. He stands by him as, one evening, Barney hooks up with a (very) young girl at the bar and he recognises his friend's motivation for what it is - stress relief. He wonders if Robin knows about this. He wonders if she would care if she did.

Ted wonders if Barney has even told Robin that he loves her.

He wonders how Barney gives Robin what she needs - physically, emotionally; how he stands it.

One evening, as the group jokes around, Robin teases Barney, laughs at him, and Barney doesn't rise to it or act out or draw their attention. He just looks at her, once, and her mouth snaps closed, cutting off a witty retort.

Ted wonders if Barney will punish her later.

He finds himself obsessing about it. He listens, ears straining for the sound of Robin coming home at night. She always comes back to the apartment, no matter how late. She never stays over at Barney's pace.

Barney never comes over to their apartment any more.

The dynamic of their group has shifted, and Lily and Marshall seem weirdly oblivious. Lily tells Ted that she thinks that Barney's talked Robin around; that Robin's craving for submission, for pain, was a one-time thing born out of depression - her lack of a job, a lover, any money. Ted marvels that Lily can believe that. After all, none of Robin's problems have gone away.

Ted guesses what's happening between Robin and Barney. He kind-of fantasises about it until one morning he catches a glimpse of Robin through her bedroom door as she pulls on her blouse. Her back is decorated with a criss-cross of livid red marks.

Ted swallows.

It would all come to a head that night.

**2. Robin**

She's felt it all day: That creeping numbness that starts at her extremities - her fingers, her toes - and spreads through her limbs, along her torso to take up residence in her heart. Robin's always felt emotionally remote, all her life. Now she's getting worse than ever.

When it gets bad - so bad that she has awful, horrible impulses involving razor blades and her own white expanse of skin - Robin seeks _him_ out. It wouldn't be hard to find someone else to hurt her. She's always had a good radar for violent, brutish guys.

(She's never have suspected Barney of having a mean streak that deep. Not in a million years)

After that first time, when she had brazened it out in front of her friends (no point in trying to hide such an obvious injury) Barney had tried to talk to her. She'd brushed him away, fled the bar, fled the disgust and disapproval of her friends and he'd followed her. He's shouted at her. He'd slammed her up against the wall hard enough to bruise and crushed her lips beneath a hard, uncompromising kiss.

He'd taken charge.

Robin hadn't even realised she'd needed that.

Barney never really needed to hurt her that badly. He didn't always tie her up. He always spanked her, paddled her, held her down and fucked her dirty. When she stepped over the threshold into his fortress of an apartment, she surrendered herself utterly. It was amazing how easy he made it.

He was the best at what he did. He seemed to make a point of it. He read her so well.

Every time.

He knew just how far to go, how to let the darkness out without draining her past the point of no return. He fed from her, tongue, lips, teeth, devouring her, fingers leaving marks on her inner thighs, palms leaving prints on her buttocks,

She sometimes left with bite-marks like rose-buds on her pale flesh. Sometimes.

She needs him tonight. She needs him.

And Ted locks the door, stands in front of it, refuses to let her go to him.

She's blank, remote, numb, her phone a lumpy mass in her hand. She voice dials Barney and begs him to come to her.

Ted snatches the phone away and barks down the line, angrily.

Robin runs into her bedroom and sits on the floor, back against the door. She doesn't cry, but she trembles like a junkie needing a fix. She needs this. She needs _him_. She needs Barney. Where is Barney?

"Ted, _please_…" She whispers, knowing he can't hear her. She begs him anyway.

**3. Barney **

Barney gets up in Ted's personal space. It's a face-off. It's freezing outside and he's dressed for winter - heavy coat, scarf - so he's boiling hot and filling up with rage. Ted tries to physically block him from going into Robin's room, holding out his hands placatingly, trying to calm Barney down.

Barney knows that Ted just doesn't get it.

Ted doesn't understand how impossibly hard it is to psych himself into this. To get his head into the space where it needs to be for Robin, to do what he has to do for her. He can't do it _here_, in this warm, friendly apartment. He can't be what Robin wants _here_. Can't be what she needs.

Oh god, he _has_ to be what she needs.

Doesn't Ted get it?

Robin's bedroom door swings open suddenly, dramatically, and she appears with red-rimmed eyes, her desperation radiating outward, calling to him, pulling him in. She's shaking, sweating, visibly hollow.

"Get out of my way, Ted, or God help me-" He growls, his voice low and ominous.

Ted touches him first.

It stings, through three layers of wool and cotton.

"Take off your coat and sit down," Ted says, reaching out for Robin. And weirdly, because Ted's touching him when he slides an arm around Robin's shoulders and pulls her close, it feels like he's a conduit between them. Ted's diffusing the ticking bomb, cutting them off at the knees, leaving them gently buzzing and gasping for air. Robin's eyes meet Barney's, wide with surprise and relief.

Barney finds himself doing what he's told. It's awesome how effective Ted's "Dad" voice can be.

Ted maintains physical contact with both of them, taking Barney's coat, pulling them both close so that he can hold them together, comforting them and enveloping them. Barney wants to scream at Ted, to make him understand that it's not that easy, that a hug isn't going to fix them. But he's exhausted from fighting and following and feeding Robin's need and there's a part of him that does just want to hold her and promise her that things will get better.

They sink on to the sofa, like one, organic mass. Ted's fingers are splayed across Barney's thigh and he feels gently aroused, can see Robin's tongue running across her lips. He's still got enough sense to protest, to question this. But he can't get up, can't turn around and he physically cannot leave Robin like this with Ted. Jealousy tickles his heart, makes his stomach clench. As if sensing this, Ted begins to stroke his leg, turning to press his lips against Barney's, quickly deepening the kiss, his tongue probing.

Barney jerks away, shocked out of his lethargy.

"Ted, what?" He manages, unable to grapple with the concept of Ted coming on to him, unable to comprehend the look of interest on Robin's face.

No.

No, he can't do this.

He absolutely can't do this.

Robin's hand reaches out, burrowing under Ted's tshirt to stroke across the flesh of his stomach.

Her expression is soft, full of wonder. He's longed to see it. Every time he's smacked her rump and thrown her on her back and fucked her brutally, holding nothing back, all he's wanted is one, gentle glance.

Barney knows that Robin wants to watch him and Ted make out.

Robin wants it. Robin, who stole his life. He's no longer the person he's supposed to be.

And it's not his decision.

But it's up to him to take action.


	2. Chapter 2

**4. Ted**

All he wants to do is to fix them. Ted can't stand to see them both in such pain, to see them both so out of sync that with every turn they shred each other's skin.

When he holds Barney, when he touches Barney, he sees the flicker of interest in Robin's eyes and Ted realises what he can do to help.

He's always wondered what it would be like to kiss Barney. There have been times, when they've both been drunk and curled up on the sofa, or horsing around playing video games that he's only just been able to control the impulse to reach out to his friend. Barney's reaction is just what he expects it to be. He's a little bit disgusted, a little bit confused by Ted's boldness and possibly a little bit turned on.

Ted can feel Robin, the heat of her hands, her nose nuzzling his neck as Barney suddenly and unexpectedly launches himself on Ted, palms either side of Ted's face, kissing him impulsively and thoroughly. Ted's instantly hard and thinking _Oh god oh god we're doing this_ and he's pressed up against the back of the sofa, Barney's tongue down this throat, Robin's fingers pulling at his thigh and it feels like they are making love to each other through him.

There's desperation but no pain. There's need but no self hatred.

He doesn't feel like the third wheel. He doesn't want to regret this. Ted's hand covers Robin's and pulls it away, waiting patiently for Barney to release him.

Sex… the first time is always a rush to the finish, the initial swell of desire absolutely needing to be sated. Ted doesn't want that. He doesn't want it over with quickly.

Barney's confused look is really quite adorable.

"It's okay…" He says, to Barney, to both of them. "This is okay. I want this. I just… thought we might be more comfortable in my bed?" He laughs, lightly, because this is all still slightly unreal.

Ted catches the glance that Barney gives Robin, needing her permission, the tiny nod. He gets up and pulls them both to their feet.

**5. Robin**

Robin's lost all her strength, somewhere along the way, lost her ability to breathe, to move, to focus. She wants to hit bottom, so, so badly, but Barney won't let her. He's stepped up behind her and caught her again and again, even though it puts his own back against the broken glass that would have cut her to ribbons.

She knows, vaguely, that this is above and beyond simple friendship, but all of his actions stick like a lump in her throat, a blind spot that she just can't see. Barney's fuzzy around the edges and if she tries to focus on him even for a second, he just slips away, as if terrified that he'll lose her if she sees him for who he really is.

In Ted's bed, with Ted's hand between her legs, with Ted's fingers inside her, Robin feels wanted. She feels saved. She feels the beginnings of her sense of self returning. She moans, tears forming in her eyes for the first time in weeks and it's easy to be swept up in the waves of pleasure as she bucks her hips. Ted keeps her on edge, his attention switching back to Barney, kissing Barney, who seems to struggle, trying desperately to find his place in this ménage-á-trios.

She's so strung out, quivering beneath him, and nothing matters because inside she's building walls and foundations and Ted's right.

Everything _is_ okay.

It's incredibly arousing to watch Ted and Barney make out, to watch their naked bodies writhe against each other. It's like a weird, secret fantasy made flesh.

She loves both of them. She feels something, a deep desire, for both of them.

But it's Barney who reaches out for her, just to know that she's there. It's Barney whose eyes follow his hands and who looks to her for reassurance.

And then she _knows_.

It's Barney who catches her when she falls.

It's Barney who follows her into the abyss.

She twists her body around Ted's and her lips meet Barney's. He tastes strange - salty and cool, like Ted's drained some of the white hot heat from his core. Her lips warm his. She devours him.

Ted's mouth locks on to one nipple, sucking it into a painful bud. She moans into Barney's mouth.

Somewhere inside, she feels ashamed.

She never kissed him. When he beat the pain out of her and fucked away her black pit of despair she never kissed him.

Tears roll down her cheeks.

**6. Barney**

Here. This is his place. Now. This is his time. This is what he does best.

Between the sheets, he is king and they are his subjects. Even with another dude, with body parts that are unfamiliar, it's just a variation on a theme. He knows his own soul and he knows what sounds to listen out for. He goes down on Ted with the same enthusiasm that he does on Robin. He doesn't let either of them come. That's left for later.

The power thrums in his veins. It thrills him.

He plays them both and lets them play with him in return. He aches, from his balls all the way back to his spine. He aches but he knows how to keep control.

It's not Zen, it's not any of that shit. He's Barney Stinson. He's a natural.

He's the best they'll ever have.

In the end, they start their final run together, strapped into the rocket as the countdown starts. Barney's inside Robin, eyes locked into hers because even now he'd pull away and jump without a parachute if she gave him the signal.

Ted's dick is in his hand and he wishes he were two people. He wants to fuck Ted - he's curious. He wants to know what that would be like.

Robin's hand closes over his own and she joins in the rhythm, him back and forth inside her, Ted's staccato thrusts and groans.

He feels an intimacy, a closeness that connects the three of them and, through Ted, gets him access to Robin in a way that's almost painful.

As he comes, he wishes he could tell her he loves her. Why can he say the words to Ted but not to her?

Perhaps he's said the words so many times that he's devalued their meaning.

Even as he comes he feels the fringes of despair, of desperation surrounding him, pressing against his senses.

He's flailing in the darkness but he pushes back against it because Barney Stinson doesn't give in to that sort of weakness.

Then Robin kisses him.

And, _oh god_, she rips out his heart. He dies and he's reborn. He doesn't know if he can cope with this cycle of life and death.

"I love you," She breathes. He can feel her lips move over his, shaping the words.

"He loves you too," Ted says, nuzzling his shoulder. His best friend says the words he can't ever say.

Barney smiles because Robin's got his beating heart in her hands and yet he's _safe_. Ted's fingers lace through his and Robin's kiss is soft, loving and warm, like a prayer.

For the first time in more years than he cares to remember, he's happy.


End file.
